Below are the 3 most recent journal entries recorded in crazybrd1's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, April 13th, 2004
10:10 pm	truth or dare Well I played truth or dare with the filthy assitant and free the other day. It was fun but frustrating. Ok so one of the dares I used on the filthy assitant that I was pretty sure would work was for her to make out with me for a minute. Now I know alot of people are proably saying it is no big deal and it isn't. Anyway we made out and it was all well and good apparently free said I did a good job. i was talking to free a while back and I came to realize something. I have yet to have a postive sexual experience. I have had postive sexual experiences but they have all been negative. 1. When I was ten or eleven I recieve my first bj from a girl my age. I think I also kissed her peepeee. Anyway due to parents and her we are no longer friends. 2. When I was in the mental hospital I would frequently kiss another girl in there. It was cool but it was always with the attiude that we could be caught and this was wrong. 3. Later on in los gatos high I would kiss another girl. I really didnot want to cause I was not attracted to her at all. 4. When I was 18 I lost my virginity. Well I was not attracted to this girl for one and there was other things That I will not go into. And no I didnot suffer from premature ejeclution. Anyway she was a friend and after that we lost contact for about two years. 5. I fooled around pretty heavily with a chick who was engage. Nough said So even though something like making out with a friend sober or under the influence is no big deal I guess I kinda make it a big deal. I worry that something as simple as that is going to destroy the friendship or some such rubbish. I should realize that my realinship with the filthy assitant is strong and it would take a shit load to completly destroy it. But what if the friendship was not destroyed but she wanted to take a step back from it. How would I handle that. I would handle it I guess but it would really suck. I am thinking at some point I need to just have casual sex to destroy these illogical ideas floating around in my head. Canada is coming closer. I am not happy about the fact that I will be without free and the filthy assitant for two weeks. But I am tough. Tougher then anyone knows and I can survive. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 11th, 2004
10:44 pm	i donot know So I am a littel ticked off at my friend the filthy assitant. I was taking my client out for luch the other day. Now I thought it would be cool to see how he interacted with a peer group that was closer to his age and mentality. That would be my peer group. So I pick him up and I am driving to pick up the filthy assitant. I call her to tell her I am on my way. She percedes to ask me if her boyfriend can come. Now this is not the boyfriend who is free. This is the other. It is a whole polyamory thing and I will save that for a later thread. Anyway she ask me if her non free boyfriend can come. Now undertand this I donot like him. There are many reason for this but the short and sweet is that I don't like the way he treated the filthy assitant and the way he has treated me. God knows I have tried to like him and get along with him. But he always screwed it up. So there I am with my cleint who I am trying to pay attention to and I am dealing with my surprise that she would actually ask me if someone She knew I didnot like can come. Well I said yes. I think I was always thinking of the fact that she was going to a party which would pretty much be all night and that would upset her non free boyfriend so maybe it would be good if i give her the oppurtunity to spend a littel bit of time with him. I realize now that as much as I love and care for my filthy assitant I do occasionaly have to say no and this is one of those times. Now I know I have to come up with a name for my filthy assitants non free boyfriend. I just have to think of something that is good and non deragtory. Anyway I was told I should bring it up with her but I didnt today. One her back was killing her and she had not gotten alot of sleep. Two we had a really good time. We watch indigo girls and dyed eggs. I want to have fun with her without drama. So I guess there is nothing that really needs to be talk about. Next time she ask if m.s.(there is a name for him it is the best I can do) can come I am going to stop myself from laughing and say no. Now on a different note the fucking easter bunny broke into the filthy assitants apartment and left a easter basket. This means one he was following me and two he violated the inner sanctum of the filthy assitant. This pisses me off. Now I am not afraid to take on anyone. I dont care if they are register as lethal weapons or they are holding a lethal weapon I donot stand down. But wouldnt it be understandable if I stood down from a fucking bunny who apparently can sneak into a apartment unnotice and carry a fucking basket full of candy to boot. Shit I would like to see one person who can honestly say they would be perfectly willing to stand up to this heathen rabbit. I notice something cool. Free and the filthy assitant won't be able to see each other too much for the next month due to various obligations. I am not worried at all that this will adversly affect there realinship. I have seen the strength imbued in there realinship that I know it is stronger then optimus prime when he had to take down devastator. It seems like every day the reality of moving 3000 miles to massachusetts is sinking in. No more coffee at carrows no more having some really good friends near by. My whole life is fucking going to change. I feel kinda defeated that my l.d. has brought me to this. It is so bad I cant fucking deal with it in califorina I have to go to stupid fucking reatard school to get the help I need. My friends are all like dont worry we will still be friends and we will still be close, but I think that might be shit they are saying to make it easer for me to go. How the fuck are we going to close when we are 3000 miles away? Well I am going to go masturbate now. (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 8th, 2004
10:06 pm	my first entry Well I guess you are all wondering why the hell I would allow you a peek in the freak show that is my life. I guess you could say I owe that to my friend free. He got him self in some hot water due to his live journal entry. Now faithful readers I do have to keep stuff confidential so if I donot provide the detail you want please forgive me. Anyway, i figure if John is able to get himself in hot water due to a journal entry think of what I can do. In fact I predict that by this time next month I will have no freinds or familys. Hell my dogs will only come up to me to take a piss on me. So i got this totaly awesome friend, lets call her the filthy assitant. How do I know she is my friend. Well cause I constantly worry about her. I dont worry about people I dont give two tugs of a dead dogs cock about. Now why am I worried about her. Well because she is having realinship problems. See the illogical part of my brain is saying damm you, you heathen jew how dare you not have the perfect answer to her problem. But the logical side is saying be there for her. Offer her your unconditional support and love. Give advice when she wants and then just be there to listen to her. I take my friendships seriously. I dont have many on account that most humans are filthy money grubing whores who want to grab me by the balls and squeeze untill there is nothing left but a big messy bloody pulp. I guess I still remember when I have done some hurtful things to her. She has forgiven me and even regain her trust in me but I don't think I have quite forgiven myself. Hmm seems we are dealing with my illogical part again. Lets call him goy. See goy tells me things like if I miss a cell phone call it is the end of the world. There is something else worth discussing. I have a unnatural attachment to my cell phone. Now I dont mean that I make sweet love to it ever night, though considering I have not been laid in three years that idea is tempting. But back to the point. I am deathly afraid of missing a call and then finding out much too late that someone needed me but because I was not there something bad happen. Damm goy, he complicates my already extrodinarly complicated life. And any comments on spelling or grammer and I will sick a bunch of jew loving dogs on you. It was a phone call though that inform me my dad died. Shit happens. The key is to repress the shit for as long as possible. I recent had a outburst of shit but I have gone back to safely repressing it. Now my best friend filthy assitant is dating and totally in love with my totally awesome great terrific most wonderful person great guy friend in the world. This is a fucking realinship I am willing to put foot to ass for. These two fucking compliment each other and it is fucking amazing. But you might ask why exactly are you willing to put foot to ass for this realinship. Why not concentrate on getting laid. Well there is a simple and corny answer for that. First a saying. Corny is were the heart is. Anyhoo. This realinship makes the two of them happy nay it makes the two of them fucking glow like there were expose to fucking gamma radition and they are about to turn into a not so happy green golith. I mean fucking a I have never seen or been as happy as the two of them are when they are together. I see my purpose as a friend to bring enjoyment to my other friends as well as a bit of drama to spice things up. So let me get back to Free who is my totally awesome great terrific most wonderful person great guy friend in the world. it is a blast to hang out with him. His insight in comics, while it pales to my vastly superior knowledge is truly fucking amazing. But I am worried about him. I know his parents are going through some shit right now that is hard on him. Once again goy is saying come up with the perfect solution while I know that all I can do is be there to listen to him. Even if it means driving up to san francisco. Maybe this is how I will end this journal entry. Love your friends and worry about them and enjoy the good times. That is all for tonight Your host Long Shloung Dishon (1 Comment |Comment on this)